Wednesday, 23 November 2016 | Wednesday, November 23, 2016 | 0 comments
How much i put effort to not keep finding you at the end of my day, yet, i still want you. i still want to see you. i still find my way nak lepaskan rindu kat you. funny kn? but i don't care as long as i happy, i puas hati just know that you're just doing fine. really fine without me. and when i see you okay je since we don't talk each other, i belajar laa untuk okay bila takda you. and yes, i admit i okay but its really not okay every minutes of my life i still think about you. i don't know why. i still miss you. and i miss you so much. i guess, you don't even miss me like i do. and that's okay. the feeling when you're not around, i can't describes babe. i feel losing. losing you. i hate to know that we're not together anymore. that the hardest part i kena faham i kena face and i kena sabar. you know what, i'm not ready to lose you. and tahu2 da we're just seperate because you have your own reasons and i have to respect your decision. then it doesnt mean i kena give up. to stop loving you, to stop missing you, to stop calling you or even to stop searching you at the end of the day. no okay. maybe, you think i'm totally desperate for love. no, okay no. its about my feelings tho. for the first i know you babe, until now i dont know the feelings when i'm with you i feel safe, i feel loved and everything. even you're not with me anymore. the person that i always want takda dengan i. i should accept it. everyday i told myself that i'll be better than this without you, but no. day by day, you know what i feel ? i feel i'm getting weak and weak over and over again. and hope we can still be together like before. all i want is the happiness. every day i ingat our memories, even kita tak lama. but tu bernilai. i live in our memories just nak kuat, kalau tak i lembik. when i live in that memories, i still feel you dgn i and we just happy together even sometimes i realize tu semua da lepas and i takkan dapat balik semua tu. i'm waiting you to come back, in hope you realize how much i love you, how much i miss ou rn. i can't move on. i don't give up. i giving you space to breathe and have some freedom. you know me, ou tahu i tak pernah stop you from doing what you want. i miss talking to you, i miss your sweet smile, i miss how you look at me like deep gila you pandang i and i cant stand with it, i miss your smell, i miss how you try to make me smile and laugh with your jokes, the way you make up thing when we get argue and i cant stay away from you too long. i tak boleh merajuk dgn you bcs i takut you taknak cakap dengan i da. i rindu nak kena marah dengan you and you just like said "if degil taknak dengar cakap i, after this kita tak payah jumpa da" remember that time i tengah pms and you tak bagi i minum coke and you asked me minum ribena. but i degil. i miss that time. if i can turn back time. omggg i was crying while i'm typing this. i miss how you care about me, i miss your morning wish, i miss your voice, now i cant hear you sing while youre on driving or even get voicenotes from you yang tengah texting i. get pictures of you. even kita takda gambar sama2 yg banyak. ang 2,3 tu laa i simpan i sayang and before i nak tidur i tengok dulu, i re-read our old conversations from the start until yeah. babe, don't you feel me ? i always wonder if you ingat i. i always hope that you akan kata rindu i and terus text i, but yeah, like orang kata dont hope too much. but i don't know i still hope even i tahu takkan jadi apa2. i have no reasons why i'd love you, the way you act, the way you try to be honest with me, the way you amik hati i and everthing. boleh i cakap everyday, i'm waiting for you. maybe the way i showed up my feelings on social media update pasal perasaan bagai macam orang koyak and yes i tengah koyak fikir semua ni. i don't care. at least you notice me, when i miss you i can't tell you. that's hurt me. that's why i just update and maybe you realize it. at least you know. i love to talk about you, alone. i never share about this to anyone even my bestfriends. i taknak buat orang tak selesa dengan i, dengar cerita i, i know you pun tak selesa i benda ni macam merimaskan. bcs i'd never stop chasing you. sayang, just let me love you from far. i can't imagine if you with someone else. i know i'm not deserves for you, i'm not deserves to have you. i'm not deserves for your love. i know babe. what i can do just hope you tak lupa i. i won't forget you, i won't forget abt "us". you let me go while i still sayang you. i can't lie. its too hurt me. you tahu rasa kena tinggal macam mana, you dont trust girls. but you did it. you hurt me, but i love you even more. don't asked me why. because i ikhlas sayang you and no matter what i'll always love you babe. i can't stop crying. evernight i need to face this all alone, and i supposed to let you know maybe i'll feel better after that. but no, you have your life, you have your own priorities and i shouldn't disturb you. so, i just hide it. i'm sorry if my existing just make you uncomfortable, and buat you serabut. i'm sorry if i still love you, i'm sorry if i miss you rn or even for many years, i'm sorry if i can't move on and have no life bcs of hoping on you. i'm sorry if i'm waiting for you. i'm sorry for what i've done to you, i'm sorry for crying bcs of these things. i'm sorry for everything. for once, if i get the chance to have you again, i'll fix you and mine. i wanna be happy with you. it just another dreams. i don't know your feelings. i cant really understands you. i've tried to understands you and your feelings. until i kena kuat jauh dengan you. i'm sorry i cant let you go. that's all. not my intentions to get your sympathy or else, desperate ke apa benda laa. no, i post bcs i have no courage to tell you this, but i need too. bcs this is my feelings and i cant deny it i cant hide anymore. remember that, i still love you and always love you, sayang. 

Sincerely, Me. 

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